As a sole parent, I am always the bad cop. Not a day goes by when I don’t have to play the role. Even on a beautiful Sunday after a nice trip to the park, within minutes of being home out comes the bad cop. Boys will be boys, but when push comes to shove…and punching…and just altogether rottenness…bad cop/mom has to step in and remind them of the expectations.
Now add into the mix a teenager who’s beginning to feel his oats and mom is on the losing end of the conversation every time. Now, not only does discipline come into play, but I have to listen to the teenage rebuttal. The rude expression of opinion is given and I am repeatedly told that I don’t know anything and am hated. I know that this is the true sign that I am doing my job as a parent…but it gets old when you’re the only parent around to take it.
Day in and day out, the work never ceases for any parent. For me as a sole parent, some days the responsibilities are so heavy I’m not sure I’ll make it through hour, let alone the entire day. Breaks are far and few between and my time away from my kids is most often spent working…this mommy needs a break!
I remind myself that I am blessed to have two healthy, happy children. I remind myself that all moms go through things like this. I remind myself that “this too shall pass” and it does, but most days it seems to be followed by another issue. I have tried the last few years to infuse more fun, more joy, more hope into our lives. I knew that the boys took their mood cues from me when they were little…now they can just be all moody all by themselves…it doesn’t matter if I’m in a good mood, their moods can just be rotten. Some days I wish we could just be on the same page for a few moments.
Oh well, I will try to appreciate the short moments of good behavior around me and savor the fact that when they are around others they are good boys. I know that it is only their deep security with me that allows for the expressions of their negative emotions toward me or at least that’s what I’ll keep telling myself! They know I love them. They know I will set the boundaries. They know I will be the bad cop. I will be grateful that they know they are loved and that I am here with them. I will be grateful that they’re really good boys…down deep. What more could a mom want?