So tired of being the bad cop…

As a sole parent, I am always the bad cop.  Not a day goes by when I don’t have to play the role. Even on a beautiful Sunday after a nice trip to the park, within minutes of being home out comes the bad cop.  Boys will be boys, but when push comes to shove…and punching…and just altogether rottenness…bad cop/mom has to step in and remind them of the expectations.

Now add into the mix a teenager who’s beginning to feel his oats and mom is on the losing end of the conversation every time.  Now, not only does discipline come into play, but I have to listen to the teenage rebuttal.  The rude expression of opinion is given and I am repeatedly told that I don’t know anything and am hated.  I know that this is the true sign that I am doing my job as a parent…but it gets old when you’re the only parent around to take it.

Day in and day out, the work never ceases for any parent.  For me as a sole parent, some days the responsibilities are so heavy I’m not sure I’ll make it through hour, let alone the entire day.  Breaks are far and few between and my time away from my kids is most often spent working…this mommy needs a break!

I remind myself that I am blessed to have two healthy, happy children.  I remind myself that all moms go through things like this.  I remind myself that “this too shall pass” and it does, but most days it seems to be followed by another issue.  I have tried the last few years to infuse more fun, more joy, more hope into our lives.  I knew that the boys took their mood cues from me when they were little…now they can just be all moody all by themselves…it doesn’t matter if I’m in a good mood, their moods can just be rotten.  Some days I wish we could just be on the same page for a few moments.

Oh well, I will try to appreciate the short moments of good behavior around me and savor the fact that when they are around others they are good boys. I know that it is only their deep security with me that allows for the expressions of their negative emotions toward me or at least that’s what I’ll keep telling myself!  They know I love them.  They know I will set the boundaries.  They know I will be the bad cop.  I will be grateful that they know they are loved and that I am here with them.  I will be grateful that they’re really good boys…down deep.  What more could a mom want?

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “So tired of being the bad cop…

  1. Having raised my children for the past dozen or so years on my own, I understand where you’re coming from in a big way. Three of my kids are boys, now grown men really, age 19 to 30. It’s tough being the all-encompassing one in charge and a role I also was frustrated with at times. One day I was just annoyed as all get out and said something like, “How come I have to make all these decisions? Why does everyone keep expecting me to come up with the answers?” My youngest son said, “You are the mom, you know. You’re supposed to do this stuff.” “Oh, right. Yeah, now I remember.”

    I recently wrote about raising sons in a post I called “Taming the Lions” – you can find it here if you’re interested: http://alongthewaypammeb.blogspot.com/2012/01/taming-lions.html

  2. Sounds tough. It makes me glad that my wife and I can share responsibilities.

  3. Candy says:

    Christine,

    Wanted to let you know about an upcoming christian conference in May for single mothers and their children led by widow Sandra Aldrich.
    I just found Sandra’s book last week – FROM ONE SINGLE MOTHER TO ANOTHER and was so glad to find a resource for widows with children written by a widow.

    Sandra P. Aldrich is a popular speaker
    and award winning author.
    
    Losing her husband to brain cancer when her son and daughter were 10 and 8, my guest today says she has her “Ph.D in the School of Hard Knocks,” where she’s learned to treasure the reality of God’s abiding presence.

    Here’s the website for the conference – http://wolinn.org/calendars/viewEvent/46?cal_category=45755

    Single Moms & Kids Conference

    Friday, May 4, 2012

    05 / 04 / 2012 03:00 pm – 05 / 06 / 2012 02:00 pm

    LOCATION:

    Word of Life Inn
    Schroon Lake, NY

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s